1 | 2

A Major Commitment
Caught In The Youth Sports "Undertow"
The Results Of Bucking The System
Is It All Worth It?
What's Important, What's Not
Finding The Right Balance

Years ago, a youth league baseball coach called to let me know that my 11-year old son was being invited to join a major league team - a year ahead of most boys his age. After an initial rush of pride, I wondered how this "honor” might impact our family. We had three children - the baseball player was the oldest - and up until that point, sports had been a pretty low-intensity activity that fit easily into our vision of balanced family life.

By contrast, the major league commitment sounded enormous: practice three days a week, games on Saturday and Sunday, and batting practice every weekday. Convinced that our young family could manage, we said "yes” to baseball and, in doing so, embarked on an epic struggle between sports and family life. Over the years, we saw one family activity after another bow its head to youth sports. Dinner at home, reading before bedtime, visits to grandma's house, household chores, games in the backyard, picnics, weekend jaunts into the countryside, camping trips, school vacations - all casualties of the children's sports schedule.

Back to Top

There are lots of positives to youth sports. Participation in organized sports can provide healthy, non-violent competition, regular exercise, and ready-made social life. Ballparks and gyms can offer wholesome gathering places for parents and for children - somewhere to relax, to have fun. Sometimes, it's easier to go along with the sports scene than to develop a family's more varied activities and interests. Everybody does it! Organized youth sports has become so embedded in suburban American culture that a child who doesn't participate is seen as "out of step”. Occasionally, I hear someone talk about a family who dared pull their children out of soccer or baseball as if they've fallen off the face of the earth.

Back to Top

First off, you'd have a lot of explaining to do. You've been preaching all the blue-ribbon values to your children: perseverance, determination, loyalty to the team, sacrifices for a greater goal. Then, you announce that the whole family is going to the beach for spring break and skipping the pre-season soccer tournaments. Children hear a mixed message: "We follow the rules, except when it suits us to do otherwise.” And don't forget the ire of coaches and other parents, when your family breaks from the pack. Word gets out that you're not giving a hundred percent, and, before long, your child can become expendable.

Back to Top

1 | 2

Reprint Policy

Article Updated: August 25, 2007

The Team Charter: Blueprint For A Hassle Free Season
Pulling A Child Off A Sports Team For Poor Grades Sends The Wrong Message
The Role Of A Parent In Youth Sports: Wearing Many Hats