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What is too much?

Submitted by JimmyBB on Sun, 06/22/2008 - 02:52.

I am a parent of a highly enthusiastic 11 year old soccer player. Jed (my boy) has a heart-and-soul passion to play major league soccer when he is older. He wants to be a David Beckham or Landon Donovan so badly he can taste it-just like 15 million other boys in the US, which brings me to my point.
Jed is aggressive, talented, and experienced. Is he MLS good ? I am not so sure. Maybe, maybe not. As a parent, I want him to have a plan B, but I also want him to be able to take his "shot" and at least have a chance to realize his dream on the off chance that he really is that good.
This brings me to the topic of club soccer. I have heard that playing club is the single and only gateway to playing big league soccer and that there simply is no other path-period. I have also heard that playing in high school and really getting noticed is a viable alternate path. Which statement is correct ? This makes all the difference in the world to me as I have heard a lot of bad things about club soccer, most egregiously the very high likelihood of paying $3000 plus per year for your child to be a bench-warmer.
Right now, I simply will not do this-$3000 per year for an outside chance of actually playing a game is a total non-starter with me no matter what anyone else says or thinks. I have told my son that I have heard that if the coach does not specifically invite you to join his club team, then you are not really good enough to play in his eyes. The only reason you will get on the team in that situation is if the team wants to use you for your money. My rationale here is that I will not be stopping him from taking his 'shot' in the sense that I will let him try out the day he gets that call-but not until.
I have two questions: Is this a reasonable approach to club soccer ? (question #1) If he does not play club, is he finished as far as making it to the MLS is concnerned or is really doing well in high school without being on a club team a viable path ? (question #2) How does this work in the real world ?
Any help from anyone would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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James, You have posted a

Submitted by Brooke de Lench on Thu, 06/26/2008 - 00:52.

James,

You have posted a very good question-one that I get a number of times a year. There are no studies showing that athletic ability before puberty is an indicator of future ability.

Yet, it appears that those athletes who are pushed up the pyramid are the last ones standing and usually fill the team spots. This is America

Answers to your Questions

Submitted by JimmyBB on Thu, 06/26/2008 - 15:16.

Brooke,

Thanks for the help. Here are the answers to your questions:

I

Submitted by Brooke de Lench on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 13:28.

I

Credible Action Plan?

Submitted by JimmyBB on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 18:08.

I appreciate the seriousness with which you are taking this topic. However, our situation has changed. My wife's opposition to club soccer has hardened dramatically in the last week. She has formed the opinion that club soccer is unethical and endorses a level of physical violence that is totally unacceptable to her as a result of its "win at any cost" mentality. As such, she has declared that she will not allow our son to play club soccer under any circumstances at any time, invitation or not. She has also indicated that this opposition extends to refusing to sign any parental release forms that would be required for participation in club soccer.

She has stated that she has no problem whatsoever with him playing AYSO (including their advanced levels-spring select and all-stars) as well as high school and college soccer. According to her, if he is "discovered" in these settings and has the opportunity to go pro, more power to him. My question from before becomes a bit more focused and specific in this case. What I am trying to find out now is if he has any credible plan of making it to the "big time" if club soccer is totally out of the question or whether I should help him adjust to the reality of a different path in life. Anything you can do to shed light on this topic would be very helpful as my son is devastated at this point and is pretty much ready to throw in the towel on his own because everyone he knows keeps telling him it is club soccer or nothing for anyone who wants to follow this dream.

Great Help

Submitted by JimmyBB on Thu, 06/26/2008 - 15:19.

Kirk,

I read your post and blogs this morning. All I can say is a huge thanks. This is very tough and I think my wife and I are going to continue to puzzle through this but there is nothing like the help we have been able to get in the past from MomsTeam folks and now wiht the blog's like yours I don't thnk we can go wrong.

I will keep checking back.

Jimmy

Not a problem

Submitted by Kirk Mango (not verified) on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 00:27.

Jim,

Yes, I remember listening to my youngest daughter, in 7th grade, tell me she wanted to be a great volleyball player and play on scholarship at a top level college program, and at the time she topped a whole 4'11". I am 5'6" and was a gymnast, my wife 5'8" and didn't really play sports so anything near 6' plus (normal top college prospect height) was unlikely to be in her growth range. But the experiences I had myself in sports, and adversity I faced, would not allow me to let my daughter abandon her dream.

Fast forward to Junior year and a conversation I eventually had to have with her regarding the realities of volleyball and Division I college play, and when all the other "tall" elite level players on her club team had full rides to good schools, oh so tough and hard for her to accept even though she knew that the position she plays is usually the last one recruited. However, she was steadfast in her ambition and ended up accomplishing much more than what she had set out to do.

In the end, as she knows very well, it was never about the scholarship, the accolades, or anything extrinsic that was most important but (no matter how clich