Successful Parenting

Ever wonder how it was that all the coaches' sons or daughters are so much more "talented" than the other kids that they get to continue playing all summer, sharpening their skills, getting the advantage of playing three, four, even five times a week under the lights or in the hot summer sun, while other kids, eager to play, stand on the outside looking in, already stigmatized by having been deemed "not good enough" to play.

Parents see things through adult eyes. They know that rejection is painful for them, so they think it must affect their children in the same way. This assumption can arouse a powerful protective instinct, leading some parents to threaten coaches and league officials, interrogate other families for evidence of discrimination, and foster an image of their child as a victim. Unfortunately, such parental behavior can have disastrous effects on a young person: a loss of self-esteem, increased anxiety, and a mounting pressure to excel which can lead him to quit sports altogether.

One of the players seemed to get special consideration. Ricky was a strong, natural athlete: big, fast and tall. Yet, despite the fact that he had never played travel soccer, missed all but two of the team's sixteen weekday practices!! due to other sport team commitments, he never came out of the game! Ever!

One of the players seemed to get special consideration. Ricky was a strong, natural athlete: big, fast and tall. Yet, despite the fact that he had never played travel soccer, missed all but two of the team's sixteen weekday practices!! due to other sport team commitments, he never came out of the game! Ever!

Giving the "best" players more playing time than the so-called "weaker" players may help a team win more games, but at what cost? Some boys never miss practice, yet only played the minimum. Others hardly ever, or never, come to practice, yet are "rewarded" for their lack of commitment with extra playing time because the coach wants to win. I believe that an equal playing or significant playing time should be the rule rather than the exception, at least up until high school varsity or until players are playing at the highest levels of their sport.

An interesting and useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete has been proposed by Jon Hellstedt. Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, Hellstedt looks at the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family

The tragic death of soccer referee Ricard Portillo is just the latest example of the abuse of game officials and poor sportsmanship that has led to a shortage of referees, leading leagues and states legislatures to enact rules of conduct and criminalize assaults.

One of the challenges of coaching youth sports is to incorporate mental skills training so that young athletes are not just learning physical skills but also developing their mental skills. These mental skill performance principles help players play better on the field.

I believe we all want to be good parents. We encourage our children's participation in sports because we believe they (and us) benefit through their involvement in the group experience. We want to believe that our attendance and support helps our children play better on the field. Most of us want what is best for our children on the athletic field. We want a positive environment that teaches the values of positive sportsmanship...

Punishing a child for poor grades by pulling him off a sports team so he can concentrate on his studies sends the wrong message.