On Sunday, the New England Patriots met their bitter rivals, the New York Jets, for the third time this season, with the winner advancing to the AFC Championship game. The Pats had only lost two games all season, were unbeaten at Gillette Stadium, and were heavy favorites to not only beat the Jets but to go all the way to and win the Super Bowl in Dallas in early February.

But it didn't go according to plan. Bill Belichick's team played poorly, the Jets played well, and the result was a shocking 28-21 loss by New England to Rex Ryan's Jets.

As painful as the loss has been for Pats fans, it nevertheless provides a great "teachable moment" for parents to talk about with their young athletes around the dinner table.

For me, the way the game played out furnished a lesson about the importance of going into a game, especially of this importance, as a unified, cohesive and mentally strong team. As is true in all sports, being mentally prepared is just as important as being physically prepared, and can often be the difference, as I believe it was on Sunday.

No one - least of all Coach Belichick - will admit it, but I think the Pats weren't mentally prepared. because they got distracted when Belichick benched a key member of the team, wide receiver Wes Welker, for the first offensive series of the game, for comments he had made to the press earlier in the week;  a press conference during which he made 11 references to Jets coach Rex Ryan's alleged foot fetish.

Thrown off their game by a benching - however temporary - of one of their own star players, the Patriots never did get into a groove. "It was lack of execution,'' sighed a morose quarterback Tom Brady after the game. "In order to score points, you must consistently put together plays. We could never do that, and find a rhythm.''

Initially, I thought that coach Belichick may have had made the right move, one intended to send his team a strong message that he did not think Welker's actions were as amusing as most people who heard them thought they were at the time.  For a no-nonsense coach like Belichick, Welker's antics, which I am sure were intended as a way to break the tension in the build-up to the game and a humorous response to the torrent of taunting and smashy-trashy mouthing the Jets had been dishing out all week, warranted a response.  But perhaps it would have been better to deal with the breach of etiquette internally, as Red Sox manager, Terry Francona, did on numerous occasions when Manny Ramirez acted inappropriately.

As game time approached, I began to develop a strong sense of foreboding that something bad (from a Pats' fan standpoint) was about to happen: a feeling that meting out such a punishment for inappropriate behavior wasn't the right thing to do, and was likely to backfire.  Not only did the punishment not fit the "crime" but I was worried that it would distract the team so much that it wouldn't be mentally prepared for the Jets.

And it did.

I could understand how a coach at the high school level might be justified in benching a player shooting off his mouth to teach him and the rest of his players a lesson. But benching a professional player who has been a vital member of a team all season? Was it a smart move to send him to the bench with his tail between his legs and deprive Tom Brady of his favorite target? Was that the best way to start a game, or did it say to the Jets that their words had had the desired effect; that they had gotten under the skin of the Pats players? Perhaps the lesson to be learned from the Welker incident is something we all learned as a child on the playground when someone was teasing us: that sticks and stones can break our bones but words can never hurt us?

What do you think? Did the coach do the right thing? Did the Welker comments and subsequent benching leave the Pats mentally unprepared for the game? What is the lesson of this story to impart to your kids?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below or send me an email at delench@momsteam.com.

Most American youth playing sports these days are lucky enough to play on well-maintained fields and with the best and latest sports gear.  Children in the southeast African nation of Malawi, among the world's least developed and most densely populated countries, aren't so fortunate.  Malawan children face many adversities, including poverty, disease, and low life expectancies.  Opportunities to play sports, much less with the right equipment, are few and far between.

 

The Banda Bola Sports Foundation is trying to change that.  Over the past two years, with the help of donations of money and gently used sports equipment and new school supplies, the Foundation has begun sponsoring after-school sports and education programs for Malawi students in grades K through 8.  Founded by Malawan native, former Malawan Olympic and UMass women's soccer coach, Kalekeni Banda, the 501(c)(3) non-profit, based in Guilderland, New York, is working with local organizations, secondary schools and soccer clubs to establish the first after-school in-house soccer league for girls and boys in grades 1 through 6 and travel soccer teams for boys and girls in grades 7 and 8 in Chituka Village, Banda's birthplace.

Most recently, on Saturday, October 30, 2010, the Foundation partnered with the Latham (NY) Soccer Club for a fundraiser at the Latham recreation fields, collecting used sports gear and school supplies to send directly to needy youth in Chituka Village.  Huge boxes were filled with used soccer balls, cleats, socks and uniforms, as well as notebooks, pens, paper, and other basic school supplies for shipment to Malawi.  

Smiling faces and Thanksgiving blessings

One need look no further than the "smiles on their faces [to know] the joy" they feel in receiving such gifts of sports equipment and school supplies, says Banda.   "But these blessings cannot continue" without the support of soccer clubs and other youth sports organizations across America.

As America gets ready to celebrate Thanksgiving with turkey and high school football, the Banda Bola Sports Foundation reminds us of just how blessed we are, and how much a difference we can make in lives of those living in poverty in other countries by giving them the opportunity to play sports and get an education.

For more information on how to organize a fundraiser like Latham's or make a donation to help the needy children of Malawi, please visit the Foundation's website.

At this time every year we at MomsTeam get a flood of emails asking the same question: "Why don't they ban metal bats?"

This has been a contentious issue and one which I have been following for years. I have always been on the fence, although leaning in the direction of some common-sense regulation of metal bats to limit the speed at which balls come off the bat.

Ironically, it is a new metal baseball bat commercial that raises safety concerns and has me re-thinking my stance.

I wonder if you saw the same commercial. It seems to be running mostly during peak women/mom viewing hours (I am on a new fitness program which coincides with morning TV, so I am watching what advertisers are targeting moms) and features Michael Strahan, (the gap-toothed former star defensive end for the New York Giants), who is supposedly trying to find a new sport to play now that he is retired from football.  It  shows him crushing a baseball with a new Easton metal bat, hitting it so hard it knocks down the Sports Authority sign at the other end of the gym and then shows a young woman pounding the ball with the same bat.

Watch the video and see if you end up having the same questions I had after watching it.

My first question was why all the spots on women's shows? I did not need to think about that one too long: because moms buy most of the sports equipment in this country. According to a 2003 Sports Authority survey mothers buy 70 cents of every dollar spent in their store. (A side note:They ran the survey after I convinced them they would find this to be true even though they did not believe me).

But the next question can't be answered so easily. The commercial says the reason Strahan hit the baseball hard enough to knock down a sign was because of a "reduction in mass in the barrel makes it lighter for extra exit speed." Wow.  I could not believe what I had seen. 

The commercial assumes that the extra exit speed is a good thing.  I'm not so sure.  Can you imagine a 11-year-old kid hitting a ball with all that extra speed and, instead of knocking down a sign on the outfield fence, the ball knocks down a pitcher, especially one playing youth baseball  standing a mere 46 feet away?

Every baseball season it seems like there are stories about kids suffering catastrophic injuries or dying after being hit by a baseball rocketing off a metal bat.  This year, sadly, is no exception.  Two weeks ago, in the San Francisco Bay area, 16-year-old pitcher Gunnar Sandberg was struck by a ball off a metal bat traveling, according to estimates, at least 100 mph. He fell to the ground on the pitching mound, wobbled as he tried to stand up, then fell again. Rushed to nearby Marin General Hospital, Sandberg was actually alert and conscious for the next day or so, but then fell into a coma from which he has not, at last report, emerged. Because of the accident Gunnar's school baseball team switched from metal bats to wooden bats in his honor for the next game and is considering making the ban permanent. North Dakota and New York City have banned metal bats.

There don't seem to be any easy answers. But as a mom and youth sports safety advocate, I prefer to err on the side of caution. When I hear about metal bats that increase the speed at which baseballs rocket at players' heads, I worry.  I wonder whether, in some cases, technological advances actually make our kids less safe.  Can the average 10-year-old boy react quickly enough to put up his glove or duck when a ball is traveling at his head at 100 miles per hour???

Has your league, school or town banned metal bats? Do you have a story to share about metal bats? What do you think?

Update: a 

A bill pending in the Congress would ban corporal punishment in school sports, ending the spanking, paddling and physical punishment many states permit at the hands of teachers and coaches.

U.S. Representative Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY) has just introduced H.R. 5628, a bill to ban school corporal punishment. Twenty  states still allow corporal punishment in public schools and even more states permit the practice in private schools. The bill is supported by the National PTA, the National Association of Secondary School Principals. Eighty education and child advocate groups have signed a letter supporting the legislation.

I included a story of youth sports-related corporal punishment (in the form of forced exercise as punishment) in my book Home Team Advantage.  Courtney* was an 11-year-old girl in Texas playing middle school basketball team when her distraught parents e-mailed me seeking my help. Courtney's coach had punished her for arriving ten minutes late to an early morning practice (her mom had gotten caught in traffic), forcing her to run five sets of bleacher stairs and do five defensive hustle drills.

After running the stairs for twenty minutes, Courtney became ill and ran to the bathroom to throw up.  When she returned to the basketball court - humiliated, scared, and too sick to continue - her coach ordered her to finish her stair-running. Collapsing after vomiting again, she was benched for the next game. The coach imposed the same form of punishment on other players who were late to practice.

Sadly, Courtney was only one of nearly 50,000 students in Texas who were subjected to corporal punishment during the 2006-2007 school year, many at the hands of coaches. My e-mail inbox is filed with stories similar or worse to the one told by Courtney's mom.

Indeed, of the thousands of emails, phone calls, and media stories that MomsTeam has received over the past ten years, the ones I find most distressing are those, like the one I received from Courtney's mom, that tell of youth athletes suffering abuse at the hands of coaches, other adults and their teammates. Parents are frustrated because they are told that physical, emotional, and physiological abuse is simply the price their children have to pay to be able to play competitive sports, and that if they complain, like Courtney's mother, they will be dismissed as representing a small minority, when in fact, they represent a silent majority.

In my view, a law banning corporal punishment in schools is long overdue.

How you can help

If you agree with me, I urge you to call, email or write your U.S. Representative and ask him or her to support H.R. 5628 and join with Representative McCarthy as a co-sponsor.

Contact information for your Representative can be found by clicking here.  On the right side of the page, enter your zip code in the box labeled "Find Your Lawmakers."

What to say when you call

I am calling to ask Representative _________ to support H.R. 5628 , a bill to ban school corporal punishment.

Here are some of the reasons I support the bill:

(1) Twenty states still allow corporal punishment in schools and over 223,000 school children are hit each year;

(2) Corporal punishment can lead to student injuries and law suits against school boards; and

(3) Over fifty national organizations including the National Education Association, the American Medical Association and the American Bar Association oppose school corporal punishment.

Ask him/her to support the bill.

Ask him/her to become a co-sponsor.

Thank him/her for their support.

For more information about effects of school corporal punishment and alternatives to its use click here. 

For more information about abuse in sports, click here.

* Not her real name

Every once in a while a news item comes across my desk that deserves a special shout-out.  Such was the case today. 

It was a story from The Seattle Times about a 13-year-old middle school football player named Zackery Lystedt, who collapsed from a traumatic brain injury in October 2006 when he was allowed back into a game just
15 minutes after suffering a concussion.  Zackery spent the next nine months in a
coma, and even today still sits in a wheelchair, having regained his sight and ability to speak but still struggling to regain strength in his left leg and foot.

A state representative named Jay Rodne took a special interest in Lystedt's case and decided to see what he could do to protect other youth athletes, including his 10-year-old soccer-playing daughter, Kalyn, and 12-year-old football playing son, Rye, from suffering a similar fate.

In January 2009, Rodne introduced a bill that would not only require pre-season concussion education of athletes and parents, but adopt the strictest return-to-play concussion guidelines in the country.   His bill would require that:

• Youth athletes and his or parent and/or guardian be provided information before every season about the nature and risk of concussion and head injury, including the risk from continued play with the signs or symptoms of concussion;

• Youth athletes and a parent and/or guardian sign and return a concussion and head injury information sheet in order for athletes to be allowed to practice or compete;

• Youth athletes suspected of having sustained a concussion in a practice or game be immediately removed from competition; and

• Youth athletes who have been taken out of a game because of a suspected concussion not be allowed to return to play until they have been evaluated by a health care provider with specific training in the evaluation and management of concussions  and received written clearance to return to play from that health care provider.   

When the House version of the proposed legislation, with the support of the state's 350,000 member youth soccer association, passed unanimously last week,  Zackery and his father, Victor, were on the statehouse floor to witness the vote and hear Rodne tell them, though Zakery might never play football again, that the statute would be his legacy forever.

On Monday, a slightly different version of Zackery's law garnered near unimous support in  the Senate, prompting Victor Lystedt to celebrate by cooking his son steak and crab for dinner, with Dairy Queen sundaes for dessert. 

Once the two bills are reconciled, the compromise version will be sent to Washington governor, Chris Gregoire, to sign into law, and would take effect by fall 2009.

Great step forward but more work to be done

To say I am thrilled about the imminent passage of the law would be an understatement.  For the past eight years, I have been writing and speaking about the need for pre-season concussion education of youth athletes and their parents and pushing for strict concussion return-to-play guidelines.  Zackery's law is a huge step in the right direction and should serve as a model for the rest of the country.

But I believe even more steps needs to be taken to prevent concussions from occurring and to protect our children when they do, some but not all of them beyond the reach of government:

• Coaches need to be part of the concussion solution not part of the concussion problem

• The athletic departments of the nation's high schools need to have a certified athletic trainer (ATC) on staff;

• Athletes playing contact sports should undergo pre-season baseline and post-injury neuropsychological testing;

• We need to provide every child  with a safe helmet;

• An ambulance and paramedics should be present at all high school football games, and, if they are not, procedures should be in place on how to properly contact EMS ;

• Coaches and officials should be required by law to be trained and certified in basic safety and emergency procedures, including the recognition of concussion signs and symptoms;

• Sports officials should be given the right to send any athlete who they reasonably suspect has suffered a concussion during play to the sideline for further evaluation;

• The pre-participation physical examination (PPE) required for sports participation should include the taking of a comprehensive concussion history; and

• The national governing body for each sport posing a concussion risk should take additional steps to address concussions, both in terms of education and prevention.

So, a big shout-out for the folks in the Pacific Northwest behind Zackery's Law, but let's think of it only as a start.  There's a lot more we can and should be doing.

Update: On May 14, 2009, Washington governor, Chris Gregoire, with Zackery sitting next to her in his wheelchair and his father and 50 friends and family watching on, signed the Zackery Lystedt Law into law.