Shane Murphy, Ph.D.

An interesting and useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete has been proposed by Jon Hellstedt. Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, Hellstedt looks at the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions.

There is a strong tendency in our society to view participation in sports in the most favorable light. Children are encouraged to participate in organized youth sports programs because they are thought to promote such fundamental values as character, teamwork, determination and commitment...

If you have spent a lot of time as a youth sport parent during the past year (as I have), you probably feel a bit battered and bruised right now. It seems that everyone is ready to blame "out-of-control parents" for all the ills of youth sports. We are the crazy ones screaming on the sidelines, abusing the kids, yelling at the officials, and displaying poor sportsmanship. What's a parent to do?

Too often, the problem in youth sports is not crazy, out-of-control parents, but the fact that we put children in very competitive situations at too young an age. I often get asked, "When will my child be old enough to compete?" I like to ask parents to re-cast the question as: "When will you be comfortable with allowing your child to be tackled, tripped, yelled at, cheated or left out?" All these things can and will happen in competitive sports. They are part of the game. Your child is old enough when you, as a parent, can handle the stress seeing your child compete puts on you.

There are three things parents can do to make their child's introduction to youth sports a positive experience:(1) look for a program that emphasizes skill development over winning; (2) look for sports activities your child will enjoy; and (3) ask whether your under-12 child needs to participate in competitive sports at all.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions. A common problem is that your love of your child may lead you to behave in ways that ultimately hurt the child

There is a strong tendency in our society to view participation in sports in the most favorable light. Children are encouraged to participate in organized youth sports programs because they are thought to promote such fundamental values as character, teamwork, determination and commitment. But this bias can be troublesome if it prevents us from seeing that problems in youth sports exist. While we have recently come to realize that some professional athletes have serious problems -drug and alcohol abuse, spousal violence, and acts of sexual aggression - we have been much slower to recognize the problems that have developed in youth sports.