Game Day

Women, particularly the mothers who volunteer, are often the backbone of what makes a youth sports team work smoothly.
Unfortunately, as with dads, when it comes to their own child's sports team, a mom's greatest strengths can become weaknesses that can cause problems for her child and his/her coach. 

Clearly, some parents are taking children's games far too seriously. The games are for our children, yet time and time again, we are witness to parents losing control. What lessons are our children learning when they see mothers and fathers yelling insults at referees, hands clenched, faces red with anger?

Everyone involved in youth sports has a role to play: players play; coaches coach; officials officiate; and spectators sit in the stands or stand on the sidelines and cheer positively. Nine out of ten incidents of bad sportsmanship occurs where people stray from their role. If everyone followed the golden rule of sportsmanship - to know their role and stay within it - the result would be fewer people misbehaving at youth sports competitions.

Good sideline behavior by parents sets the right example for your
children. Here are some ways you can demonstrate good sportsmanship on the sidelines at your child's game.

Kids, especially under twelve, are always seeking their parents' approval. Negative labels and generalizations and criticism can have a devastating emotional impact. If you critique your child's performance, she will interpret your anger, disapproval, and disappointment as meaning that you don't love her anymore-that your love is conditional.

I believe we all want to be good parents. We encourage our children's participation in sports because we believe they (and us) benefit through their involvement in the group experience. We want to believe that our attendance and support helps our children play better on the field. Most of us want what is best for our children on the athletic field. We want a positive environment that teaches the values of positive sportsmanship.

Parents and youth sports officials never seem to be on the same page. There always seems to be some tension between them. It often seems to parents that the person officiating must be seeing a different game than they are. Every call seems to go against their child's team. But it doesn't have to be that way.

This is one challenge from which, I believe, we should not back down if we hope to change how parents behave on the youth sports sidelines. The need for a change in parent behavior is well documented. Simply put, the number of times when parents act inappropriately towards officials, players, coaches and other parents is unacceptably high. Most agree that something must be done, but are unsure whether they want to put in the effort required to change the status quo.

Parents can help young athletes overcome anxiety and have more fun playing sports, including a technique called performance exhaling.

The tragic death of soccer referee Ricard Portillo is just the latest example of the abuse of game officials and poor sportsmanship that has led to a shortage of referees, leading leagues and states legislatures to enact rules of conduct and criminalize assaults.