From all that one might think from reading the newspaper, listening to the news or watching the television talk shows lately, the only problem with youth sports today is the out-of-control parent, and that all we have to do is to stick a code of conduct or laundry list of rules under the nose of every parent and ask them to sign on the dotted line, and everything will be fine.
But in youth sports, as in life, there are no easy answers. We at MomsTeam believe that playing the "blame game" and singling out out-of-control parents as the villains in the youth sports crisis obscures the real problem: that misbehaving parents are a symptom of what is wrong with youth sports, not the disease itself.
The real problem, in our view, is much more fundamental: all too often youth sports today are not about kids playing sports. Youth sports is now about:
Adults and youth athletes wanting to win at all costs, even in a pee wee football game between 8-year olds;
Adults
entrenching themselves as coaches and on the board of directors on
youth sports clubs and refusing to give up or share "power;"
Adults
lured by the unrealistic dreams of college scholarships and pro careers
for their sons/daughters/players, pushing them to play sports year
round (and to play through nagging injuries);
Violence
toward officials, trash-talking, deadly hazing rituals, the use of
performance-enhancing and recreational drugs and alcohol use, and
cheating in every form imaginable are steadily increasing;
Serious
social problems: rape by athletes, violence toward their partners and
non athletes, coaches bending eligibility rules, adults setting
terrible examples by losing their tempers at kids and other adults.
Deadly serious catastrophic injuries and even death while playing youth sports;
Adults keeping travel teams small so that their club wins more games and places more teams in post-season tournaments; and
Adults yelling and screaming when a coach takes out the star player to give a benchwarmer some playing time and coaches, administrators and athletic directors who either cave in to the pressure to only play the best players or get replaced.
The Solution
What's the solution? It isn't simply to require parents to sign a code of conduct and be banned from the sidelines if they misbehave. It is to recognize that everyone with a stake in youth sports - parents, spectators, players, coaches, trainers, athletic directors, school administrators, members of club boards of directors, referees, umpires, sponsors and the citizens in the local community - has played a part in creating the crisis in youth sports, and that the only way we are going to solve it, to make youth sports safer, saner, less stressful and more inclusive for every stakeholder is for everyone, not just parents, to agree to and then actually implement fundamental changes in the way we all view youth sports. In other words, to understand that we are all part of the same team, and that, like any other team, its success depends on teamwork, and on putting the goals of the team - to put the youth back in youth sports and to make it the best possible experience for our children -- above individual, parochial concerns.
How, of course, will be the challenge. It won't be easy. It won't happen overnight. Our society may be too competitive, too intense, too bent on winning to change. But we have to at least try! Here are some thoughts we at MomsTeam have on accomplishing our mission.
Making Youth Sports Safer
Are youth sports as safe as they could be? Of course they are not. Here are some of the things that Moms Team will do to make sports safer:
Inform everyone about the kinds of injuries that kids suffer playing a particular sport, how to prevent injuries through proper nutrition and hydration [2], how to minimize the number and severity of injuries, including injuries from overuse [3], and what to do when injuries occur, such as concussions [4] or heat-related illnesses [5].
In the coming weeks, months and years, we will be posting articles
about every aspect of youth sports safety and nutrition from recognized
experts.
Advocate in favor of more safety training [6]
for coaches. It is time that every youth sports coach receives training
in first aid and sport-specific injury prevention. It is sad, but true,
that the majority of coaches, even at the high school level, receive
inadequate safety training.
Advise parents on proper safety equipment and techniques, and how to be pro-active on safety issues, including making sure that the fields and courts [7] your children play on are safe, and that coaches don't continue games during lightning storms [8];
Educate parents, coaches and administrators that protecting children against emotional injuries [9], from sexual or verbal abuse [10] or harassment, or being exposed to out-of-control or violent behavior by parents, coaches or other players) is just as, if not more important, than protecting them from physical injury.
Making Youth Sports More Sane
There's a lot we can do to restore sanity and a proper sense of balance to youth sports. Here are some ideas we will be exploring:
Make youth sports fun again. What are youth sports coming to when coaches are so hell-bent on winning that they won't let the "less skilled" 5-year olds on a T-ball team play the "fun" positions [11].
We also have to find a way to keep kids playing sports into middle
school and high school, when such a large percentage drop out because,
you guessed it, sports are no longer fun. If kids knew they could play,
regardless of their level of ability, many more would keep playing a
sport for the fun and the exercise, and we might reverse the alarming
national trend towards obesity in children and adults.
Put winning in its place.
Kids play sports for fun. Adults play sports to win. No wonder adults
are running youth sports. Everyone, from parents to coaches, from
athletic directors to school board members, needs to realize that youth
athletes are not miniature professionals, and that youth sports
programs should be designed to meet the needs of the many (the kids who play sports for fun, to stay in shape, for personal satisfaction and to be part of a team), not just the few (the kids who go on to play sports in college and the miniscule percentage who end up in the pros).
Value sportsmanship and character. As Dr. John Yeager [12] wrote in his book, Character and Coaching: Building Virtue In Athletic Programs, school administrators, parents, and coaches must enter into an ongoing partnership to make sure youth sports programs are character-based. While parents are the prime character educators, all adults associated with an athletic program must embody and reflect the moral authority vested in them.
Youth sports have become increasingly stressful for everyone involved. Here are some things MomsTeam.com will be doing to help everyone reduce the level of stress:
Training parents in "performance parenting" [13] techniques so they will be better able to handle the stress of watching their child compete and won't get caught in the "intensity web." [14]
Helping parents get and stay organized
and managing their time. We will be offering practical suggestions on
ways to more effectively juggle work, sports, and meals, from tips on
car-pooling, to how to ensure that your child gets a nutritious meal on the go [15].
Offering advice on buying equipment, like sneakers [16], and other sports gear, and help picking the best sports camp for your child; and
Explaining the advantages of mission statements [17] and team charters [18] not only in preventing conflicts from developing between and among parents, coaches and youth sports officials, but in restoring the balance between winning and skill development. When everyone involved understands in advance that the one of the rules of a particular program is equal playing time, parents won't need to scream at the coach to put their child in the game and the coach won't be under pressure to play only the "best" players.
Making Youth Sports More Inclusive
Making youth sports more inclusive takes many different forms. It means such things as:
Eliminating cuts at the middle school [19] and high school sub-varsity levels [19]
Including more women in the coaching ranks
Including
more women on the boards of directors of youth sports organizations and
term limits for directors to prevent them from becoming too entrenched
Open board meetings, with the dates and times of meetings posted and published in the local newspaper
Setting
up Parents Advisory Councils to advise the board of directors of youth
sports organizations, and middle school and high school athletic
departments on issues of concern to parents of athletes
"Evaluations," not "try-outs"
Equal playing time rules for all players
Rotate
Players on to different teams each season to eliminate a practice of
"stacking" teams thus creating cliques and an air of exclusivity. This
is important for the player who isn't the strongest yet, but may be if
given the opportunity, but also beneficial for the player who is
popular but needs to learn tolerance and positive leadership skills.
Advocating
for your own child to maximize the chances they will be given a chance
to play (for the text of a sample letter to the director of a travel
soccer click here [20]).
Starting new youth sports clubs or teams to provide a spot to every child who wants to play (for the text of a sample letter to the director of a travel soccer club after cuts forced the writer to start a new soccer club, click here [21])
Share Your Ideas
You are all members of MomsTeam. I know you all have ideas on how to make youth sports safer, saner, less stressful and more inclusive. What has worked in your community? What hasn't? We want to know so we can share the information with all of the other members of MomsTeam! Together we can make a difference.
Want to discuss this article or have question answered? Join us in the forums [22]!
Links:
[1] https://www.momsteam.com/alpha/departments/endlessseason/momsteam_approach_to_reducing_conflict3.shtml#share
[2] https://www.momsteam.com/node/50
[3] https://www.momsteam.com/node/796
[4] https://www.momsteam.com/node/305
[5] https://www.momsteam.com/node/866
[6] https://www.momsteam.com/node/816
[7] https://www.momsteam.com/node/293
[8] https://www.momsteam.com/node/824
[9] https://www.momsteam.com/node/307
[10] https://www.momsteam.com/node/414
[11] https://www.momsteam.com/node/743
[12] https://www.momsteam.com/alpha/services/experts
[13] https://www.momsteam.com/node/719
[14] https://www.momsteam.com/alpha/features/parenting/losing_perspective.shtml
[15] https://www.momsteam.com/node/320
[16] https://www.momsteam.com/node/683
[17] https://www.momsteam.com/node/705
[18] https://www.momsteam.com/node/704
[19] https://www.momsteam.com/node/1298
[20] https://www.momsteam.com/node/737
[21] https://www.momsteam.com/node/539
[22] https://www.momsteam.com/forums